Kimberly Lyall #9 Your Mess Is Your Message: The Power of Vulnerability

  Your Mess Is Your Message: The Power of Vulnerability with Kimberly Lyall

Most people don’t realize the true impact that vulnerability, mentorship, and purpose can have on transforming a life — but Kimberly Lyall's story will hit you right in the heart. 

From growing up in poverty and navigating difficult childhood challenges to becoming a celebrated public speaker and leadership mentor, Kimberly’s journey is a powerful testament to resilience and self-belief. She didn’t let her past define her — she used it as fuel to serve others, to heal, and to step fully into her calling. Her story is a reminder that our pain can become our greatest source of power. 

In this episode, Kimberly shares raw and meaningful stories from her 25-year journey in public speaking — including the pivotal moment when a mentor saw something in her that she couldn’t yet see in herself. That moment helped shift her from insecurity into confidence, and ultimately into purpose. 

You’ll hear about the framework she developed to help others regain clarity and momentum during life’s toughest moments, and why truth, vulnerability, and giving are at the core of authentic leadership. Kimberly also opens up about navigating trauma, grief, and self-doubt — and what it really looks like to keep showing up for others, even on the loneliest days. 

In this conversation, we break down:

 • How to turn your mess into a message that truly impacts others
 • The importance of community, belonging, and mentorship in your journey
 • Simple but powerful mindset shifts that keep you grounded in chaos
 • Why vulnerability is a strength — especially on stage
 • Practical advice for anyone who feels called to speak, inspire, or lead 

This episode isn’t just about public speaking — it’s a call to action. A reminder to embrace your story, lift others up, and create lasting impact. 

Kimberly’s authenticity and courage will challenge you to reflect, reset, and believe that you, too, can build something meaningful with your life. 

If you’ve ever doubted your voice or felt overwhelmed by life’s obstacles, this conversation might be exactly what you need. 

Your greatest influence begins the moment you choose to share your truth. 

Thank you for sharing two of the most precious resources one human being can share with another: your time and your energy.

If you found value in today's episode, please help us grow the Life Is Limitless Podcast by sharing it with a friend, subscribing on YouTube, and leaving a like, rating, or review. Every share helps us reach one more person who may need to hear this message.

Until next time, remember: life is limitless.

If you are interested in anything that is Kimberly Lyall, please visit his website below:

https://kimberlylyall.com/

If you would like to support the show, you can use this button below:

buymeacoffee.com/codydemerais 

Music Intro and Outro:

Track Title: City Of Angels
Artist Name(s): LNDÖ

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Hello, everybody, who is going to be joining us on this week's episode with Miss Kimberly Lyle, who has been a great friend and a person that has treated me very kindly in the caps world from the moment I want to enter the caps situation and the environment basically. Thank you for those who are listening to the Life is Limitless podcast. This is episode nine, I think, and we've been on a roll being pretty consistent with releasing episodes every week. Some weeks we've had multiples, but I'm excited to have Kimberly on today. And so a short introduction is Miss Kimberly Lyle is the creator of the Solutionary Leadership, a mindset and strategy movement for leaders who dare to build with over 25 years of experience across corporate, nonprofit, and leaning into challenges, uncovering opportunities and leading forward with clarity and courage. Kimberly, I think we're gonna find plenty about you. Um, I know your introduction could keep going, but I definitely would love to just hear more from your perspective on the other side of the introduction. First of all, I have to greatly say thank you very much for agreeing to be here. I know our time and our energy are two things that we don't seem to have always an abundance of. So anytime somebody takes that time to set away to have an hour conversation, um, I never take it for granted. So thanks, Kimberly.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Thank you for asking me.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Of course. So, Kimberly, we did the intro. I would love to just kind of jump in to have some questions with you if you're on board for that. Let's do it. Okay, sounds good. So, Kimberly, I would love if you could tell us and whoever's going to listen, whether it's you know, a hundred people, thousand people, ten thousand people in the future, whatever it is gonna be. Please tell us a little bit about your growing up experience.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Hmm. I I often struggle with this question a little bit, and and I'll tell you why. I feel like a lot of us grew up with some challenging experiences in our childhood. And I don't want it all to sound like, oh man, you know, she she struggled and she had these things, but I truly did. You know, I grew up in a household where um parents were divorced when I was six, remarried by the time I was eight, um, my mom divorced again, I think, when I was 12. There was a lot of challenges. We we definitely lived in poverty for a lot of my childhood. And, you know, I remember watching my mom work three jobs and having social services say, oh, she made $20 too much this month, therefore we're gonna cut off your supports. Um, and and that resulted in things like, you know, I couldn't get a new mattress for my bed. Or um my grandparents would bring over fruit because we never had fruit or milk in the house. Um, I started babysitting, I think, when I was 10 to earn money so that I could buy my own clothes and and things like that. And so it's challenging because you feel like you don't fit in at school. You're struggling with very adult responsibilities at a very young age. You know, I was making my own school lunch at six, that kind of thing. Um and it just it felt very hard. My my whole childhood felt very, very difficult. But I will say that that formed who I became. You know, having to struggle, I just always felt like there was so much more out there. And I had all these barriers in front of me, and I just wanted to, I just wanted to get out in the world and prove that I was smart and I was strong and I could make my way and I could make a better life for myself. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Oh, that plucks on my heartstrings right away immediately. Thank you for sharing that. I can definitely relate with that as well, coming from you know, a mother who raised me and lost her job around 10, 11 years old, and probably drop in financial income probably by like, you know, three-quarters of what she made at the time. So I can definitely understand how things can change with financial situations, um, the ups and downs. As we were just kind of mentioning before, you know, off camera, you know, whether or not you have a full calendar of speaking engagements or maybe one and far in between, things can change for a speaker who does this for a full-time career pretty quickly, actually. So I I respect where you're coming from on that. Um, just that early hood childhood, basically. So you know, me and Tyler were chatting, Tyler Hayden were chatting last episode, and we were talking about, you know, those are the hits that come at us from time to time that shape us and form us into who we're gonna be next moving forward. And um it's so true. Every time you look at some something, some big obstacle that somebody's had to go through in their life, in the end, I hate to say it, but it makes you so much more stronger. Um, lots of times anyway. I mean, you know, it could go the other way, but thankfully uh from what I know from you, from every interaction we've always had together for the last, I think, a couple years now, um, it's always been great. So it it didn't go the wrong way for you on that. It's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Well, I do think that you know, nobody has one experience, right? So growing up, I mean, I did have a lot of people around me at different times who were mentors, who saw me, who did little things, and as hard as it was, you know, when I look back, I I know that there was love that came to me in different ways. Beautiful. Um yeah, yeah. And so you just as an adult, I think it's I I lean into the power of choices, right? I really believe we have the ability to choose the kind of life that we want to have, and you have to make that choice to to try to to reach out to the mentors who are there for you and and do something with it. Because again, my my story is not unique. A lot of people had challenging childhoods, and so I think you know, we just have to decide what we want to do with that. We're not a victim of our circumstances, we can be strong in spite of or because of it.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

I love that. I love that. Yeah. Um, a question I would love to touch base with you on when do you remember uh somebody coming into your life that was like a mentor kind of role, like for the first time, or somebody that was very impactful? I'm very curious on that. I know that's something that just out of the blue kind of question, but I'm very curious now that we kind of we led to the conversation this way.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

So yeah. I've had several. Um my husband was definitely one of my first mentors. I met him quite young. You know, I was in my teens, he was uh uh connected to our family, um and definitely saw some potential in me and wouldn't put up with my teenage PS. Um, and then uh there was a man named George Takashima who was the director of a youth leadership camp through the Lions Club. When I was 18, I was sponsored to live overseas in England for a summer as a youth exchange student, and that was a huge life-changing event. I mean, if I think about the Lions Clubs that sent me, you know, before I even knew them, they were giving me this opportunity and obviously became mentors and so did the families that I lived with that summer. But when I came back, I was so inspired by what I experienced. You know, the power that service clubs have, the power that each of us have to make a difference in a community just by doing little things every day. And I wanted to give back and say thank you. And they connected me to Lion George Takoshima, who had was a retired principal. He'd worked in schools, student leadership across the country, and had created this leadership camp for teenagers. And he was moving to my area, and they said, Well, maybe you can go work at the camp. And so I met with him, and he was this short guy with this huge voice. And again, he just saw something in me and instantly made me the leadership director of this camp, made me the co-director the next year. He's the reason I became a speaker, and yeah, I I couldn't be more grateful for the influence he had on my life.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

That's beautiful, that's very powerful. It's so incredible that people can come into our lives at any given moment and can absolutely change the trajectory of our lives. And quite often we don't know while that situation's happening, actually. And that's what makes life, the experience of life, so incredible and so profound at many times in our lives. I remember my mother tell me about a book series that she used to read when she used to work at this job before she lost it, called The Celestian Prophecy, I think it was called. Where people come into your life for a moment, a reason, a purpose. And and I think she told me those stories like when I was 10, 11, 12 years old. And that's she never told me anything more about those stories, but that just people can come, they can go, and they can leave, and then they can stay and teach you a lesson, or that they might only be there for a season. And it just my mind has always kept that in, you know, a database basically. So every time somebody comes into my life now, I almost look at them, is this person gonna stay for a long time, or is this just the person that I'm gonna learn situation or they're gonna learn a situation from myself and her experience, and we part ways, and life's full of those kind of people, and so that's that's incredible. And that's funny because the next question was gonna be How did you get into public speaking? So did you public speak at this leadership um camp?

SPEAKER_02 9:43

Yeah, I mean it was a little bit interwoven. So I was the first student from Lethbridge, where I'm from, who was sent on this youth exchange program. And while I was there, I was representing Canada on the lines here, and so I had to give speeches at the club meetings that I went to, which I mean, honestly, they were like, okay, take five minutes and tell us about Canada. It wasn't much. But when I came home, the clubs that had sponsored me and paid for me to go over wanted me to come share my experience. And I thought, what am I gonna, what am I gonna tell them? And so I I literally thought, well, I'm just gonna share a bunch of stories about what happened to me at different times in the trip and what I learned from those experiences. And in a way, it was easy because I was just telling stories and I was so passionate and excited about what I had experienced. And it had such an emotional reaction that they started sending me on a circuit through lions clubs all over uh Western Canada, actually, conferences, club meetings, conventions. Yeah. And then when I joined the camp, I mean, honestly, the first time I met with George, I'd never been to summer camp as a kid. And I thought maybe they'll let me wash dishes. That was really my goal. I'll just come wash dishes. And after he met with me, he said I think he'd be great at leading, like running the leadership program. It was a leadership camp. So I did a bunch of work studying, figuring out like what am I going to share with these high school age students. You know, I was never popular or cool in high school, so it was a little intimidating. And after that first year, George took me for lunch one day and he said, Kimberly, you have a way when you speak that young people listen to you and they believe what you're telling them. You should become a speaker.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Yeah. And I wish I could tell you that I was like, oh, thank you. Okay, I want to do that. But I was young, I was insecure, I wasn't confident. And I said, Oh, George, I I couldn't do that. I mean, I'm not a speaker. And he kept coming back to me every few weeks, every few months, Kimberly, I think you should do this. Every high school, and you you know, you go into a lot of high schools, every high school in this country is dealing with students, especially young women who are struggling with their self-esteem. They would love to have someone young and powerful and vibrant like you come in and speak to these students who and they would listen to you. And I kept saying no until one day he called me, he said, All right, I'm the president of, I can't remember the the organization, it was a national student leadership uh organization that worked with schools across the country. He said, Our annual conference is in St. John's, Newfoundland this fall. I've booked you as our keynote.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Kind of just, you know, here's the fire. Please walk through it.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

Exactly. I thought I could never say no to George. So I was like, I guess I'm speaking now. So that's really how it came.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

That's incredible though. You know, because sometimes, plain simple, I think we need nudges from time to time. You know, if everyone was ready to take on the world at a hundred percent, you know, or sorry, people didn't take on the world until they reached a hundred percent like ready, set, go. That's a lot of people not moving forward, you know. Um that's incredible. I love that somebody came into your life and said, you know what, even though maybe you don't feel comfortable, this is what you need to do. Uh yes. Because that's that your life, you know, path has led you to here now where you are now. Yes. So can I ask out of curiosity, how many years has it been since that leadership conference that you spoke and you've had, or sorry, St. John's, right? Um, how many years has it been that you've been somebody who's done professional public speaking since then?

SPEAKER_02 13:20

It's been just over 25 years.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

Twenty-five years. My goodness.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

That's a good amount of time being able to do something that you enjoy and love. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Yes, yes. Now I haven't been a full-time speaker that whole time. I was I was working um different jobs at that time. I was working in an economic development office. Later, I became the CEO of a tourism destination region, and I was there for over a decade. It's only been since well, 2013 that I really was running my own business. Uh, and that was really more focused on consulting. I was still speaking on the side when and if. And it's been in the last three years that I decided, no, this is really what I'm meant to do. This is my purpose. I know it is, and I'm leaning in wholeheartedly.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

I love that. Um, I think this world here's when we take a full leap of faith into what we want. Absolutely. Um, I was just telling my wife on the phone, like on my way here to my house from the gym, you know, and running errands, that you know, if I had a regular day job where I had to go work nine to five, I wouldn't be able to take half sometimes my engagements. Because sometimes these engagements that I get at least are like I had today. Hey, are you available um March 24th? Well, that I look at my calendar, that's next week.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

So that's not short notice.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Amazing. Somebody must have, you know, been sick or dropped out or something, you know. But I told my wife, if I was somebody who was trying to do in between, in between, that answer would have been, sorry, I can't. I'm I'm working my you know, my regular nine to five or whatever it is. But when you take a leap of faith, um, you know, like you have as well for the last few years, that that beautiful universe, I think it wants you to be able to fly. It wants you to s spread your wings and take that risk on yourself, take that chance on yourself, because there is so much beauty on the other side of just simply jumping into which you're passionate about, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:24

And and I think what you know you're meant to do, right? Like I you and I have talked in enough, Cody, and I think with your posts, you're very honest about this is a path I know I'm supposed to be on. You know, speaking saved me, it also is allowing me to save others, and it it puts purpose to some of the really hard things that you've been through.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

And so I think making that choice, you know, it's a little scary. It's actually easier to jump when it's something that's not so important. But when it's important, yeah, I think the universe conspires to help you be successful.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

I couldn't agree more. That's beautiful. I don't know if you can see through one of the cameras, but I'm getting a little teary-eyed. I don't know why. I think this is the ninth episode, and I think I've wanted to tear up on every single episode. Because it is meaningful work, though. You know, every conversation that I've had so far, including us together, every time we've chatted, whether it's through messages, emails, or you know, at a couple events that we did with in caps in Calgary there for like the masterminds and groups, we've always had those good conversations. And I've appreciated that because they're they've been always genuine and connected between the both of us. So um let me see. How many events would you have say you have spoken for in your now? This is a tough one because you know it could be over your whole 25 years, or it could be when you kind of took that l leap of faith into the full realm. I whatever you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna hedge and say hundreds. You know, uh if I think about over that period of time, like it's it's I should have been counting from day one. Maybe one day I'll go back through my notes and count, but hundreds, hundreds and hundreds of events, tens of thousands of people. Um yeah, and and it's interesting when I think it too, because sometimes we have this idea of speakers of, you know, you're on a stage and there's 400 people in the audience or a thousand people in the audience, and and sometimes we do that, you know. Sometimes you're on a stage with I remember the first time I was on a stage with over 2,000 people, it was something else. Uh I couldn't see any of them because the lights were so bright, right? It's a really strange experience. And sometimes you're in a room with 10 or 12 people, and you can be really intimate with them and you can really look into each of their eyes and create this connection, right? And so it's hard to quantify, you know, when people think of events, like what does that look like? But I just feel so lucky and grateful that I've had that breadth of experience and been able to form relationships in both types of speaking venue. You know, my again, when I started, I started with youth, you know, so it was a lot of high schools, it was student leadership conferences, things like that. And I used to have students always, always, you know, they'd have the lineup after you finished speaking, which is really nice. And then the room would empty and there'd be two or three that would hang around till everybody else had left. And the stories they would tell me and the things they would acknowledge and the tears, and uh it just it broke my heart every time and I used to think, man, what do I do? You know, I've got someone in front of me who's telling me, you know, they're they're being abused or they they're thinking of ending their life. What do I do? And then I realized I've already done what I need to do, I've already I've already just shared, and something's resonated with them. And now they're telling me their story, and I would say to them, what do you think you should do next? And they would know. They just need someone to hear and give them the courage, you know. And so there's that, and then I found as I went into adult markets, you know, now I'm speaking to adults as well, the same thing happens. You know, we're all just people who are dealing with a lot of struggle and sometimes a lot of pain, and we just need to be seen. And so, yeah, I I know I'm kind of not really answering your question, but you know what?

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Lots of things we could go a thousand different directions. Every single one of them would be good. I know that. So no stress on that. These questions aren't specifically that I need to know this information, by the way. They're just talking points to kind of have these back and forth conversations. Sounds good.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

I'm not getting booted off the podcast. No, we were all prepared, Kimberly.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

No, no, we're all good, Kimberly. Um, you know, and one of the biggest things that I wanted this podcast to be is another tool, another resource for folks who might be that 16-year-old kid who may have heard of our names, may have heard us speak in the past, or have came in contact with myself or whoever else is going to be on the other side. And they, you know, they're they're lost, they're they're by themselves, and they need another resource. They need somebody to have these conversations while you know they're out in their in their world, right? So, whatever lessons, whatever information, whatever education we can gather within the time that we have together, that's what it's supposed to be. And that's I'm good with that.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

So I love that you're doing that, Cody, because again, I think with social media, especially, we know everyone looks at the shiny posts we put up there and thinks, oh, they've got it all figured out. And and even when you tell your story, they they look at where you are now and they go, Man, I don't know if I could do that. And and every day you and every day what I'm trying to do is say, No, we're st we're still trying to figure it out, and you can, and you don't have to do it alone, you know.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Which it's a beautiful journey, and you know social media can be so high level sometimes, you know, very it can seem very artificial. Um but one of the things that I've come to find too, like I don't just post to have a hundred likes or fifty likes or whatever it is. I have people come up to me at different events and they say, you know what, I love reading your posts. I never interact or anything, but I just love to read them. And that like I thought, like, if you don't like the post back in the day, like years ago, oh that doesn't mean you you didn't read it. But no, it's never the case. And man, when there is so much information out in the world that can like bring a person down into a lower energy field, and you know, we can talk about fighting or you know, whatever discrepancy people have between each other sometimes. I I have days like that myself, you know, where I don't feel good. But I remember the folks that have said, you know, I love reading your posts, and it's just like even though I might not always be in the greatest headspace, I want to keep posting uplifting positive stuff because somebody on the other end might be in a tougher spot, you know. Absolutely. And those those conversations you were talking about when people come up to you at the end of a presentation and, you know, a youth group or those are sometimes the most incredible conversations a person can have. In this world actually.

unknown 22:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

It's it gives you perspective. I sometimes feel you know, I was speaking at two events this past week and they were both very powerful. And I uh some audience members shared some stories with me afterwards and it felt quite heavy. You know, I think sometimes we not sometimes we're aware that there's a lot of weight in the world, but we we stop realizing it's everyone around us, it's our neighbors, it's our colleagues, it's our family, it's our friends, it's their friends. And it's it's an honor to be able to have someone come to you and say, again, you you something in me resonated when you spoke and I want to share this with you. And it's also a responsibility for I think for us as speakers to recognize that okay, how do we take care of ourselves so we can keep showing up? Because sometimes the smallest story really does matter.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Oh yeah. And I I greatly agree with um what you also said about sometimes you're just you know, you said your part of what you need to do. That's a really great perspective. And you did, right? Your hour keynote or your hour presentation or your workshop, whatever it was, to allow this person to come up to you feel in a safe, comfortable position in their life where maybe they don't always have that to be able to open up.

unknown 23:20

True.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

One of the biggest lessons that I've learned in that kind of that trade-off, the energy exchange that people can have between each other is that um sometimes listening is just all that other person needs, you know. And you don't have to fix anything, you don't have to say anything, you just you can t open your ears and you can take that weight of the world of that person's sh, you know, off the weight of the person's shoulders off, you know, just by hearing them out. I know one story that really it it it hurt to my core, you know, like this past before the winter came and stayed for the last eight months of the year, it seems like, for us anyway. But uh I went to a southern school and this young 16-year-old kid came up to me and told me that her um her mother was experimenting with crack cocaine, unfortunately, this past summer. And man, I just for like four hours I drove home and my heart just it was kind of like you know, picking apart how this lady told me or how this young girl told me, and I just you know I sat with her for 20 minutes after the presentation and uh just talked about, you know, oh you're in grade 12. So what's your plans for grade 12? Where's your future looking? What are you thinking of being able to do with all this energy that you have in you? You know, what's your plans? And like you said, you nailed it on the head. They know what they need to do most a lot of times. They just need to hear have somebody hear them out.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

And believe in them, yeah. Uh I'm so glad you were there for her because such a lonely feeling for her, I imagine.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Yeah, and that's I think lots of times um we have people coming to our lives just like we said on the start of that kind of podcast. Never know why. You know, I connected with you over two years ago, and look at at here we are now. I don't obviously I don't connect with everyone in caps, but I there's a handful of folks, and you're one of them.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

So yeah, I'm so glad. I'm so glad I you made such an impression the first meeting you came to. I was just like, there's someone who is doing it right. Just awesome.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

I appreciate that. I can't really I was so excited to be in that room. I had so just to kind of a pre-context, so Alan Kaler, he told me about caps before I even, you know, tried to submit my information. And I just knew that I wanted to work towards it for like two years. So I think the excitement of being actually in the room with everyone, you know, um, just being a part of that event, like in my head I was going a thousand miles a minute, just so you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

I made it, I made it.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Yeah, it was an incredible time.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

But I love that too, right? I mean, the joy in life is celebrating those milestones, those moments, not taking it's just another day. It was a big deal.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah. Can I ask, how long have you been a CAFS member out of curiosity?

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Very I think you've been in the past. Yeah, I think it'll be four years this April.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Okay, four years. Yeah. And you were the past president this past year, correct?

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Yeah, 2025 and 2024. So two years.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Okay. So that's a two-year term, or how does that go?

SPEAKER_02 26:28

Yeah, yeah. It's it's up to the person, but generally the presidents have been staying for two years. So I did.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

So what you know, once again, this isn't a scripted question. I'm just very curious now that we went down this rabbit hole. What are some of the things that you learnt being the president of CAPS?

SPEAKER_02 26:47

My goodness.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

I know that's a big one.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

Yeah. I mean, I've been in leadership roles many times, so that part wasn't new per se, but just the the dedication that people in caps have. I I'd experienced that in other ways, right? A convention and um through the caps communities we've got. But when you're actually responsible for for leading a group who's going to put together events, you really see who cares deeply, who shows up. You know, we've got different generations sitting around that table. So different people deal with things different ways. Um it was fun working with that that group, the chapter leadership team, because everyone had a different skill set and different gifts to give. We had a lot of fun envisioning um how we could do things that were a little bit more uh, what's the word I want to use? Just try different things. You know, my background, I'm a speaker, but I'm also a facilitator and I'm also a strategic planner and I'm also a consultant. And so I'm very used to having really interactive sessions and creating spaces for people to share. And Brandy, who was our programming chair, also has that background. So we thought, why don't we shake it up a little bit? You know, instead of having the same format every meeting, maybe we're gonna try something different. And so it was just really great to try, and also to, you know, I think there's a part of me that, again, given what my background was and some of the things I experienced in my professional career, you know, we all have a fear of failure, and I I did not want to screw things up. So during that time, I had to become more comfortable with realizing, yeah, just because you're new to caps doesn't mean you're new to leadership. And do what you know works and just do it with confidence, and people will come along with you, and they did. So it was a good confidence boost. I really got to know the other leaders across the country in a deeper way, which was wonderful. I got to work with our our head office more closely, which was great. So, yeah, just a great experience all around.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

That's beautiful. Um, and that's one of the coolest things about CAPS is that you can you can have friends, you can make these connections across Canada, you know, and then even into North America, depending on how far you want to go into you know the public speaking kind of roles, the you know, the associations and everything like that, because it's a worldwide kind of industry, you know, public speaking.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

And and it's a weird lifestyle, right? Like you you just mentioned, you know, I got a call about speaking on the 24th in the middle of the day. Uh you're on the road a lot. It's uh you go from being on a stage and having all these people clapping for you and coming and telling you their life story, and then 10 minutes later you're in a hotel room all by yourself. Right? Like it's a very strange life. And so what I found when I joined CAPS is you're surrounded by people who understand it, who want you to be your best, who want you to be successful, not just on the stage, but also in your health, in your relationships, right? And so, you know, the community of CAPS has become my community, my best friends, and a lot of my most trusted people are in that organization. So it's it's just a wonderful, you know, again, like anything, you you get from it what you put into it, but the relationships are there if you want to form them.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

Which is beautiful. I think everyone wants to belong to a tribe, everyone wants to belong to a community. That's right. Well said that's ingrained into us, and yeah, I couldn't agree more. It's a it's a weird situation. You can come off a high speaking in front of hundreds, thousands, and you go to your hotel room and you're just sitting there. Okay, do I watch TV now?

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Right, right. I want to eat my granola bar and sit in the silence.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

How do I unload this energy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very such a true testament and true statement that you know it's being on the road can be very lonely, actually, you know. Yeah. Because I've I've thought about this kind of concept quite a bit. You know, I'm always there to be a part of a company, organization, community for a few hours leading up to it, a few hours during, and then a few hours maybe, or a phone call after. Besides that, you know, these organizations, these groups, they work together all year round, right? They have these, you know, everything built together. But you're really just kind of, you know, you're a part in their life for a brief moment, and then you're you're a part in another person's or another group's life for a moment as well.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

Um and not only that, you're a part of their life. Like you go in saying, What are your challenges? How can I help you do accomplish something really meaningful? And so you you do this deep dive into what they need, and you get to know them really well, and then you get on the stage and you share things that are really personal and really vulnerable, and and because I know you do, right? And I know I do. And so you create this really close connection with people, and then a day later you move on. Right. It's yeah, I've I've tried really hard to stay in touch with people who have come and spoken to me afterwards or the organizers, right? Whether it's through LinkedIn or Facebook and outreach, um, which is it's again, I think it's such a gift. It's also really hard because again, you're always focusing on the next one, and yet what a beautiful problem to have, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:14

Um, you know, I just actually hit a phase in my life where like I've started running into people who I've known for years at like a grocery store and stuff, and I can't recall some people's names that I should know. And I used to be extremely hard on myself um for that reason because I never don't want somebody to be felt heard or seen, you know, like to not remember a person's name that's not intentional, it's not malicious at all. And then I read a book from Malcolm Gladwell that, you know, I think it was called um something, anyway. I think his books are good, yeah. But I think it was called Outliers actually. And so he talks about you know that if you meet a lot of people, your brain capacity can really only retain X amount of names. You know, it's I think 250 is the number he put out there. I don't know exactly where he got that number, but it makes sense when you can go to an event. If you're the keynote speaker, the MC at this event, and let's say there's 400 people at this event. You know, a decent size audience for sure, um, at least for me, anyway. Um so 400, let's say you meet a quarter of them, you know, that's a hundred people, right? That's that's half of your memory load right there. Right. Yeah. And yeah, it's uh it's a very interesting job, very interesting world that we get to live in. But like you said, having that community with fellow speakers, friends who understand, I think it's very important. Um one of the things that I do love and join actually is listening to other podcasts of people who might not be in similar roles or similar industries. But what I do enjoy listening to is podcasts with comedians, actually, like stand-up comedians because their worlds actually align so much with somebody who's in our world, you know, as a public speaker, right? But they have their own community as well of other comedians who can relate with each other, being on the road and stuff, and they talk a lot about similar situations that I know a lot of public speakers also talk about.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

See, now I'm gonna have to look for some of those podcasts. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

I'm sure I have a list somewhere written down that I can send your way, but it's always nice to understand that other people have similar perspectives, even if it's uh an industry over, uh, you know, 10,000 miles of you know, separation, whatever it is, right? Yeah. So I would love to know for anyone who's wanted to follow the same path as a speaker, Miss Kimberly, what would be some of your advice that you would love to share a piece of your wisdom with whoever might be listening? Because I'm really curious to know what you think about that one.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yes. Well, I think first of all, you have to know you have to have something to say. Right? Like it it's interesting when I think about it, because we call ourselves speakers, and there's definitely a skill associated with being able to speak, you know, from a stage or in front of a room, right? How do you build your speech? How do you engage the audience? All those things. But really, it's all about sharing a message. Right? I could write an email to you with a message. I could, you know, um send a course or or film a video, right? Like it's it you can't speak unless you have something worth listening to. And it has to matter to you, like you should really believe in it and be knowledgeable about it and be passionate about it. And then it also has to matter to your audience. Like, why should they care? Right? So you know, I I find this years ago I used to teach at Lethbridge Polytechnic. It was Lethbridge College, and I actually taught a public speaking course for a while. Yes, and a young woman came in and she said to me, I want to be an influencer. And this was before influencers were huge. And I said to her, Okay, like what what do you want influence people to do? And she couldn't answer that, like she couldn't figure it out, and she really struggled. Because again, you know, you know, every time you get on stage, every time I do, there is a message I'm trying to get across. There is something that I want to change for the audience in how they feel about themselves and how they think about themselves and what choices they're gonna make going forward. So you have to start there. There has to be something that you believe in so strongly that would be of value to an audience that that that's where it's rooted in. Because otherwise, what are you doing? We have chat GPT, we have AI now. You can find any information about anything anytime, right? It's not about that, it's about your unique experience, your unique take on something, and your ability to influence others in a positive way. So I I think getting really clear on that is a starting point. Um, because yeah, the other thing is too, is you and I both know this industry again is not easy. You know, we see the glamorous part, but offstage, it's a ton of work preparing for speeches, it's a ton of work doing the social media and the contracts and looking for gigs and all of that kind of stuff. So you really do have to believe in it. And then once you've figured out what that message is, your why, like why are you up there and what change are you are you trying to make for people and why should they care, then then just start speaking. Find places where you can get in front of people and test your message. You know, again, for me, I started with Lions Clubs, right? It was I spoke for free for a long time, you know, or they give me an honorarium or something, but it was just about the joy of sharing the message with a group who really needed to hear it. So I I would say starting with those two pieces is really foundational because the skill part, I don't want this to sound like it's going to, but you can learn how to speak, right? Like you can learn how to drive a car, you can learn how to make a sandwich or brew a coffee, you can learn how to speak. It's a skill. It's it's what are you gonna say? That's the critical piece. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

I love that. Yeah, because you could just speak for a full hour and you can just have words come out of your mouth. If you don't have any rhyme or reason, it's just it can just be words that come out of your mouth.

unknown 38:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

And and you see that sometimes with speakers, right? The the other thing I would say is you have to remember it's not about you. You are there to give a gift to the audience, right? So I often say this because again, I'll I'll get asked to do workshops on on public speaking sometimes at the conferences I speak at. And I say to people, if you're scared to speak, it's usually because you're worried too much about yourself. If you if you flip it and say, No, I'm here to give a gift to the audience. And then again, you answer that question, what is my message and why should they care? Then it's about the giving, right? So you you want to respect people when you speak. You want to respect how do I make it easy for them to receive the message? How do I what stories do I tell? What visuals do I use? What pacing do I use? What is relevant to this particular audience, right? It's all about giving as a speaker.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

I think that's uh a big separation or a big you know separation maker for sure for those who get to do it as much as possible, and for those who maybe don't, is the the ability to show up to give, not to take. That's right. I think that's a very powerful transformation between somebody who wants to speak and somebody who's going to speak, you know, as busy as possible. Yeah. For a few years, I, if I can be honest, a lot of trauma just came out of my sessions when I was speaking, because I was speaking very raw, still, with a lot of things that were very heavy on my chest. And once I learned that these stories can be shifted with different trains of thoughts and different perspectives, and how can somebody use this story for their life? That's when things started to flow way more, you know, better than what they used to be before. And that was a big change maker in my life for sure. And I'm thankful to have reached that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Yeah. Well, I I would say I did some of the same, right? I did some of the same. I'm interested for you, I'm gonna flip the script here and ask you a question, is how did you make the shift? Like what made you realize, oh, I need to do this differently.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

Well, like initially, I think I always wanted to speak for like a purpose for a reason, because the folks who asked me and my buddy Regan in the first place to do public speaking, they said, you know what, a lot of people could benefit from hearing your stories. And so right out the gate, it was you know fifty dollars for $75 a session. And sometimes we'd have to drive an hour and a half, two hours, three hours, and you know, they would give gas money, and but we would take the same vehicle and we'd split the gas money to also help, you know, to pay for our time. And that's what it was, you know, people can hear your story, but it started very quickly. Um, just my trauma coming out lots of times, and um thankfully we were able to do that story together, and that's how we started doing things together. But when I realized I want to become a full-time entrepreneur, I said, This is I gotta find a way to make this happen. And the more and more I just leaned into what can I provide for somebody on the other side of things? It was kind of right out the gate, actually. Um but I think a big part of it also was having to do a lot of healing work first, you know, along the routes. If I could take back time, I would have done more healing work as I was just starting out because I still struggled with my addictions, I still struggled with a lot of mental health issues even when I started doing that public speaking. It was a big healing part, but if I would have done more, you know, healing things that I had to do while I was starting that journey, I think I would have um, you know, been on a on this path maybe sooner in my life. And I don't I'm not upset for where I'm at right now because I'm very thankful in my life. But I know before I go and speak every single time because you know a lot of my presentations, good chunk of it's stories that that another group might hear. But it's the stories of what I can share for this different community that might resonate with them more, whether it's about suicide, uh addictions, or mental health issues, everything in between. And now I I literally, you know, do something called smudgin. So it's kind of like uh, you know, an I know, yeah, for sure. For those who don't, um send me a message, I'll fill you in.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

But no, go ahead and describe it for those who don't.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

It's an indigenous kind of you know, ritual, a background, it's like a prayer for me. And I do it, I ask for to be used as a vessel for good for whoever needs to hear my stories. I don't ask for a round of applause at the end of my presentation. I ask to be used as a vessel for good for the stories that need to come out for those who need to hear those stories, you know, along those contexts of words. That's what I do before every time I go speak. And it's free to know that you're there to serve, not to take.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

I do something very similar. I I don't always smudge. Um quite often it's more of a prayer. But exactly that. It's I especially in the early years when I first started, I would be so scared to get on that stage and not deliver what I needed to deliver. And I would just pray. Um it's interesting you saying that when I was 19, I got um I called it a Blackfoot blessing. I'm I'm not indigenous, but it was an elder who saw me speak at an event and told me I was on the trail of the buffalo. And it took me a long time. To figure out what that meant. But it was all about my purpose. You know, it was all about, you know, indigenous peoples would would find the buffalo. You can go on the trail and you can find it, but that's not the important part. And the important part is going back to the tribe to say, this is where the buffalo is and I'll take you to it. Right? It's it's sharing the the learnings along the way, and it's a hard road sometimes. And so I just felt such a responsibility of I need to live up to this, you know. And and when you talk about the trauma, there's a story I tell in in both of my primary keynotes, but one it's much I go much more into depth, about when I was a young CEO and one of my staff members stole a whole lot of money, bankrupted the organization, and then died by suicide three weeks later. Just incredibly traumatic. And traumatic because of what had happened, but also traumatic because I had worked so hard to pull myself out of, you know, the way I grew up. And I thought as long as I'm perfect and don't make a mistake, I'll be fine. And then this happened and it was catastrophic. And you know, the the experience of going through that, going through the post-traumatic stress disorder, learning how to lead through that, and I and I I learned a ton of leadership skills and I turned the organization into something really strong, and I share those skills, but when I share that story, even now, so many years later, in the lead up to those keynotes, I feel the weight of it. You know, I feel the the trauma's always still there, and then I I practice how do I tell this in a way that the people understand how difficult the situation was without leaving the trauma with them, right? And it's again, it's sometimes it's a I want to think of it as a beautiful burden, you know? Like we can't do what we do without having gone through those really difficult, traumatic, hard experiences, and yet the beauty of them of being able to share that with others in a way that they can take lessons forward that are gonna help them avoid that kind of pain, right? It's all like it's all part of the path that you know you, me, other speakers were meant to walk. Like we've been given this opportunity, this gift to share these stories and these lessons and to do it, as you said, as a vessel. And so that's that's that's what we focus on.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

That's uh a fantastic perspective for sure. Um not an easy one though, like you said. Every everyone's got their hard in whatever profession, whatever career that they do. And I couldn't agree more. That's one of our hards, you know, is to take some past pain and use it for wisdom for somebody else. And that's a powerful thing to be able to do for not only yourself to recover from that pain, but to also transfer it so somebody else can see that perspective on the other side of things.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

Yes, yes. So you had asked originally, you know, for people who want to become a speaker, there's your master class. Just kind of covered all the things that really, you know, set you aside and and make you successful as a professional speaker. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:16

Well, I'm super grateful for whoever's going to be listening to this episode because they it's it's been recorded, so it's out it's gonna be out there in the world for whoever needs to listen. And that's right. And I love the idea that it could be five people or it could be 10,000 people. You never know who's going to be on the other side of hearing all that wisdom that you shared with us. So that's incredible. Can we wait?

SPEAKER_02 47:40

Yeah, the ones who are supposed to find us will. That's what I think.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

I couldn't agree more with you. That's a great way of looking at it. I would love to know. We're kind of getting to that point, you know, 47 minutes in here. But can you please share a powerful story with us about being on the road, some impact that has been made, a conversation that you may have had. Of course, you don't have to use names, you don't have to use places as you know to protect people's privacy and just to be respectful, but um as much context as you can give us without you know full clarity, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 48:16

Yeah. Um, so there was a women in business conference I spoke at three days ago.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_02 48:24

Yeah, and I'm I was sharing one of my newer keynotes, and in that keynote, I have a framework I call Edge, which is a four-point framework that really helps you. If you're if you're struggling or if you're trying to find your way forward, it is a foundational piece that will just change how you think completely and and make you feel confident again. Um, confident, decisive, focused, purpose-driven, like all the things, right? And I developed it through you know my own experiences, just figuring out like what do I do consistently when I need to get back on track. So before I go into that though, I usually just give a quick rundown of here's some of the highlights, here's some of the tough things I've been through to show you this is where I've used it and how it's helped. And so in this particular event, I started off by saying, you know, here's some of my background, here's some of the things that have happened to me. And what was interesting is when this conference had reached out to me to speak, I'd spoken there last year and they asked me if I come back. And when they called me, I'd been dealing with an issue with my house. So while I was on stage the year before, my basement flooded, like literally six o'clock that morning. Got home, had to be gutted. Turns out my basement ended up flooding two more times, so three times total. Yeah. And so the the theme of the conference was momentum. And she was saying, you know, when you when you've gone through the tough stuff and then you're trying to keep momentum, how do you do it? And I said, you know what? Like I'm gonna send you a picture of my house right now with things everywhere. It is a mess. I feel like I'm completely out of control. And yet, if you look at my social media, I look like I'm super successful because I'm on all these stages, right? Momentum's really no matter you're you're never in it's never perfect. You don't get through the hard stuff and then life is smooth sailing. It's always a balance, right? And so I was sharing this from the stage that this had happened and some of the tough things I'd been through. The next day, I I stayed at the conference and I was sitting next to a woman in a workshop, and she turned to me and she just started to tear up and she said, When you started sharing what was going on in your house and all the things you've been through, she said, I just started to cry because she had been through a situation where a contractor had come, they they'd paid this person $150,000 and they defaulted on all the renovations. So her, her husband, and their teenage son had been living in their basement for two years while the entire upstairs of their house had been torn apart. During that time there had been other losses, other challenges, right? And she said, We've finally found someone new. When I get home, we might have a functioning bathroom. But she said I'd never allowed myself to recognize how hard it has been until I heard you saying it, until I heard you saying, like, it's okay to recognize that this is hard. Now, now I'm gonna give you a framework to help you get through the heart, right? And I just I grabbed her hand and I thought in that moment, like the the beauty of being able to unlock a door for her to understand why she was feeling so much weight. Like logically we know it, you know, rationally we know it. But I think what I see again and again is when things are tough, we don't allow ourselves to feel the feelings because it becomes so overwhelming we don't know if we can keep going, right? It's only when we start to get past the tough that we look back and we go, man, that was awful. That was hard, that was painful. And and I share in this particular keynote that with all change comes loss and all loss brings grief. And what is grief? You know, and what are all the signs of grief and and the fact that you have to feel the anger and you have to feel the depression and you have to feel the bargaining, like all those stages, you can't work through grief until you feel them. And so often in society, and it's not just women, but especially women, well, men too. Like we're told you you don't get to show that emotion, you don't get to feel it, you're weak, right? So I I know I'm kind of going on, but that moment of just being able to sit with her, hold her hand. She cried a little bit and just felt seen and was like, okay, now I understand why I've been feeling the way I do, and I can go forward. That's the kind of stuff where I just okay. In the in the moments where I have self-doubts, I want to remember that. Like that's what I'm there for, you know.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

I love that. Oh my god. Oh, I want to share that with the world. Oh, that's incredible.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

I wish I could just sit here and reflect on everything that you just said, but that would mean the podcast would be over for this time. I could partake in the next hour and a half of meetings that I have with three different people. Um wow, yeah, that's that's incredible, Kimberly. That thank you. That question was textbook. That answer I mean, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

Wow. Okay. Well, I think we're getting to that point anyway of that podcast where that hour is kind of wrapping up. I um I took an event here this Friday, Saturday for an MC event that I'm hopping on for a phone call here in another 15 minutes to clarify on some things that I need to do for them.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

So excellent.

SPEAKER_00 53:41

Oh, Kimberly, it's been an absolute pleasure. I thank you. Yeah. No, thank you. I don't know how, like I said, how many people are gonna listen to this. I hope it's a lot, not just out of a selfish, greedy way, like for more views, more more subscriptions, or whatever. I just I think it needs to be watched. I think it needs to be heard. So either war is uh gonna be a blessing. I just want to deeply thank you for your time and your energy that you shared with us and all your wisdom. It's been incredible.

SPEAKER_02 54:11

Thank you. Thank you for the work that you're doing in the world, Cody, and for creating this platform and for being so open and willing to share. You're just uh you're a light, and I enjoy being part of your circle. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00 54:22

I appreciate that, Kimberly. Um, very mutual, very mutual, of course. So I didn't give Tyler a chance to do this last, so I kind of feel bad. But if people want to reach out to you, where can they find you, Miss Kimberly?

SPEAKER_02 54:37

You can find me on LinkedIn, on Facebook, on Instagram at Kimberly Lyle, K-I-M-B-E-R-L-Y, L Y A L L, or my website is Kimberly Lyle.com.

SPEAKER_00 54:50

Okay. Fantastic. One thing I did do for Tyler and any pr other professionals so far is I made sure their websites have been in the descriptions in the show notes kind of thin. So that will be there for sure for folks. Um once again, Miss Kimberly, thank you very much. For those who are going to listen to this podcast, thank you for giving me and Kimberly two of the most precious resources another human being can give to another human being. That's your time, that's your energy. And I know after this one with Kimberly, um, there's gonna be lots of lots of good trade-offs for you to give us your time and your energy for that hour that we're wrapping up on. So yeah, my name's Cody Demer, and this has been another episode of the Life is Limitless Podcast. Once again, thank you very much, Kimberly.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

All righty.